“That’s just crazy,” Ellen says to me on Saturday night.

I started to explain, but then stopped. She wouldn’t understand. Probably because I am a little crazy.

See, I have this deep-set belief that everything I do in life – every act big and small – has some sort of effect on how my beloved Detroit Red Wings perform on the ice.

On Saturday, when the Wings played the Chicago Blackhawks’ petulant style of hockey and lost, 4-1, in Game 5 of the Western Conference Semifinals, I was certain that the loss was partially due to several things I did that day.

The mistake was mentioning to my fiancée.

“I knew I shouldn’t have gone to the gym today. I didn’t go to the gym any of the past three games, and they won all of those.”

“That’s just crazy,” she says.

Now, I know she’s right. It is truly crazy for me to think that my daily activities can affect the play of 26 professional hockey players 800 miles away.

But my superstitious nature reigns. Here’s what I have told myself in the past four weeks, followed by what Ellen (or any other sane person) might say in response.

• I went to the gym last Thursday and on Saturday, and the Red Wings lost Games 1 and 5. When I didn’t go any of the days in between, they won three games! You didn’t go to the gym all winter and skipped out all spring. They made a miraculous run to the playoffs and won a first-round series in an upset. Your attendance at the gym has nothing to do with the Red Wings.

• When I check Twitter and tweet mid-game, the Red Wings lose. When I retweet The Triple Deke, they win. Your memory is selective. Wins and losses have happened under both of those circumstances.

• My new Zetterberg Winter Classic jersey is lucky. I wore it for Game 4 and they won. You’ve worn it once.

• My old-school Fedorov white jersey is unlucky. I wore it for Game 5 and they lost. Again, you’ve worn it once in these playoffs. How do you not see the crazy?

• Every time the Red Wings have won in these playoffs, I’ve worn boxers with some sort of red. My “Ho-Ho-Ho” Christmas boxers are 4-0. Every time the Red Wings have lost in these playoffs, you’ve also been wearing boxers with some sort of red in them.

• But every time they win, I’m wearing Red Wings gear! Some sort of jersey or shirt. You’re always wearing some sort of Red Wings jersey or shirt. Didn’t we just go over this with your Fedorov jersey?

These examples, all in these 2013 playoffs alone, should be enough to sway me to sanity. I’ve tried repeating the mantra: The daily happenings of my life do not impact the Red Wings, The daily happenings of my life do not impact the Red Wings.

I try, but I can’t stomach it. Stupid-stitious triumphs.

Every time the Wings win, I brought them luck. My lucky pin, my lucky boxers, my lucky jersey. Everyone rejoice. We all played our part. You’re welcome.

Every time they lose, it’s because I went to the freaking gym. Why does exercise have to ruin everything? Wasn’t this shirt lucky before? I could have sworn I put my Red Wings socks on left then right today. AND I tapped my Red Wings bowling ball twice. Guess those tricks have lost their luck. Maybe I’ll try green boxers for the next game. But the Blackhawks logo has green in it, I can’t do that. But it also has red in it! Holy crap. My fault again, guys. I’ll find a nice grey corner and sit in the fetal position until Game 6 is over. But then I might have to crawl in there for the rest of the playoffs if they win…

But that’s just crazy, right?